It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
