mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Come see our sink grown plant.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
