I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
