Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Vodka?
Forever.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
