Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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