my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wish i was in the wii world.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
