I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I skipped work to stalk him.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
