I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
