Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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