lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
