did you get engaged???
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
