she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
