Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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