If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
