This girl is more easily done than said...
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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