I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
