You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
