absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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