I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
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