Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
