The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
