i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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