ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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