what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
false alarm. still invincible.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
