I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
