I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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