Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
