He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
