you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
