You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
