i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
