Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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