is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
