if i can run in heels then i can drive
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
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