i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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