I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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