she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
