i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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