why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize