wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
