Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
babies were throwing up all over the place
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
