i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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