Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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