so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
