I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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