I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
