I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
