No, drunk sperm still make babies.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
