i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
