I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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