He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
