Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
