I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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