I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
