I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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