Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
