I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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